Sunday, September 1, 2013

Why I Disagree with Logic

Let me set up my straw man arguments first:
  1. Feminism is not the same as gender equality. Why? Because I read it somewhere so it must be true. In fact I read it when I was re-reading this sentence to check for typos. So don’t think I haven’t done my research, because reading.
  2. Modern feminism is not the same as feminism when it started and any theory, ideology, idea, concept or hypothesis that doesn’t remain unchanging and fixed mustn’t be one worth listening to. Ladies, if you couldn’t sit down and figure this all out in the beginning then don’t come running to me with your differing changing views like the nameless same thinking mass I know you to be.
Feminism first came about because chicks wanted to get out of kitchen duties, but then mad with power and time on their hands now that egg cooking was off the menu, they wanted to be equal(!), but now they’re running around and legislating that men are inferior and earning more and taking all the chairman jobs and this is why there are childcare facilities in every corporate building and the Sky Tower is always pink. Holy shit, “feminists” (scare quotes!) ruined the world and have enslaved men. Soon there will be tampon dispensers in the men’s toilets, mark my words.

Giving people an equal opportunity when you don’t address any factors that created an unequal position in the first place so that the outcome is always going to be unequal is fine, however Modern Feminists want quotas on snappers. This is what happens when women aren’t cooking eggs like how my Mum used to cook them with the buttery soldiers and the Paddington Bear egg cup. Quotas would mean that you’d have gender equality which would be a bad thing because we all know that women are incapable of doing things because otherwise they wouldn’t need quotas. 50:50 equality is feminism gone wrong and I’m a little bit annoyed at that, mainly at Labour but also at my Mum who no longer does my laundry.

The problem with modern feminists is they’ll swig away at their Pinots and their Sav’s and next minute they’re at the park shagging. This is a Fact, and a Problem, because who can get to the swing sets at 6pm on a Friday when the park is full of writhing drunk feminists having it off with strangers who are not me? Then when you bravely stand up and say that these feminazis have gone too far with their ‘equality’ and their ‘rights’ and their ‘rewriting wrongs’ they say mean things about me and hurt my feelings. Bitches.

“Feminism” annoys me because it doesn’t speak to me and asks me to question the status quo, and we all know if that the status quo was so bad if wouldn’t be how the world is. 

In response to this I wouldn't bother reading it, it will make your brain sad.


Anonymous said...

My brain was sad after reading Mr Farrell. You have made it happy again!

Anonymous said...

Excellence and joy. Bravo and amen

Son of Dad said...

Superb. Please blog more often, Ms Dovil.