Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Black Box: the Sampling Begins

Sample Co is a company that sends out product samples so people who sign up can try them and then shill them to others. So that's what this is, except I'm going to be honest about it because my reputation is more important to me than free things. Having said that, give me a house and I will swear that your sandwich spread cured me of a disease that I never had.

On with the show:

This is what I received. Ohhh, shiny free things. I haven't tried everything yet so this will be part one of a two part special. I'm super excited about this as well. So come with me as you find out what I liked, what I hated, and what CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!*

* Nothing. 

Molenberg Bread
This is a brand I already buy. But what's different about this version? The bread is slightly sliced thicker. I'm not lying guys, I had to sit down for a second and catch my breath. It's bread I like, but slightly more of it. I'm pretty damn well chuffed. Thanks whomever makes this bread, you have made my ability to eat slightly more bread that bit more easy.

Score: 10/10

Nivea In-Shower Body Lotion
It's a good thing that they sent this to me because otherwise I would never have bought it. I never really got the point. You moisturize inside the shower and then wash it off and this saves time because otherwise you would have had to moisturize outside the shower and then not have to wash it off.  Time Saving! Science, I don't understand you sometimes.

So I tried it, and yeah, I guess it worked okay. The irony is that I already use the Nivea Express Hydration and that's great, so I can at least shill that to you.

Score: 6/10 hmmm

Chicken in a Can
It's chicken and it's in a can. I'm not eating canned chicken. I'm sorry, but this should be on Fear Factor.

Score: Undetermined. I couldn't even give it away for free.

Sanitarium Cluster Crisp
Something I already buy for myself. It's has crispy crunchy bits and tastes nice. Honestly I think it's a little bit too much on the sweet side but it makes a perfect dessert. A bit of fruit, a bit of yoghurt and a handful of this chucked up on top and nom, nom, nom. Tastiness.

Score: 8/10 and a nom.

Healthries Potato Pop Bites
Again something I already eat. This variety I got to try was the Balsamic one which leaves a nice tang in your mouth. However, if you're like me and dislocate your jaw in order to eat snacks shoving one hand after another into a never blinking maw until the pack has gone and loved ones flee in terror, then this might not be the one for you. Because that much vingeresque tang can leave you with mouth hurts. If you eat like a boring normal person though you should be fine. I recommend the sour cream and chives as a non-mouth hurty alternative.

Score: 8/10 or Ow/10 depending on the flavour

Healthries Hawkes Bay Nectarine Tea
Would not have tried this, but am now glad I did. Herbal teas have the problem of being all promise of great tasting tea with it's come hither smell, but when you go to actually drink it it's insipid hot water of meh. Not in this case. It is refreshingly nectariney and not cloyingly sweet. A good summer drink and I expect that it would be great as ice tea.Would buy again.

Score: 8 and a half /10

And that's all for now until I rip into the rest of the box. Super looking forward to eating that can of baked beans and then applying chemicals to burn off my leg hair. This just might be a final sign off. Tell my mother she's getting my cats.