I love New Zealand. I love that our national colour is black, both slimming and practical. I love that within an hours drive you can get to the beach, a forest, paddocks of masticating cows, a township consisting of a garage and a pub. I love our coffee and our cafes. I love watching tourists trying to find the tree on One Tree Hill. I don't care about rugby but I can name members of the All Blacks and get swept up when we win. I can eat roast lamb with the best of them.
But...I will never have the life that I aspire to if I remain here. The prospect of home ownership is out of my grasp, not if I want something that isn't a leaky damp box next to a railway line. I will never have a dishwasher. Sad violin music started up when I started typing that sentence and rain lashed the window. If that isn't tragic what is gentle reader, what is?
As much as I love this country if I stay I will end up remaining in dead end low paying jobs living in a rented mouldy cold home. However, if I move overseas I could end up in a dead end medium paying job in a mouldy cold home that I can call my own.
I'm a coward at heart and the idea of stepping out of my comfort zone and doing this is not something that I take lightly, or with clean pants. But New Zealand has rapidly become such a country of have and have nots, where opportunities are few, where housing is crippling expensive, that there doesn't seem to be much of a choice in the matter.
I aspire to a dishwasher, I want that dishwasher, and to get that dishwasher I am going to have to leave this country behind and seek dishwasher opportunities elsewhere. I will cover it in fridge magnets of home and I will think of this place fondly.