Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Ranty Hate Post and Kitten Punching

Because I am a small and petty person, these are the things that annoy me:

People who walk: for the love of all that's holy, if you're sharing a footpath with other people walk to the same side that the cars drive on. If you live in NZ, walk on the left hand side. If you move to America, walk on the right hand side. This cunning scheme has been designed so that you're less likely to walk into me because you're too busy texting to see what's in front of you. Same goes for the stairs. You suck, stop it.

People who are polite: look, it's great that you want to be polite, but not when that politeness is tied in an idea that my gender means that I need to get on the bus first in case I spontaneously burst into my menstrual cycle and faint from prolonged standing on my lady legs, because then are you really being polite?

The rule is that I just made up now: unless someone has a physical condition which means it would be courteous to let them grab a seat before the bus lurches off flinging them around the seats like a pinball, the first person at the bus stop is the first person to get on the bus. You angrily insisting that I get on the bus before you is creepy (and I've had this happen on more than one occasion by men who will only wave on women before them and then shoulder block other men) - I am more than willing to give up going through doors first or getting on a bus first if it means that I get to also be treated equally in other spheres of social life. It's not the act itself, it's the (sometimes unthinking) thought process behind it that's the problem. I have seen men argue that women want it both ways - eh, I can pull out my own seat thanks if it means that I get treated like an adult. (If a boat sinks I'm going to be on the first lifeboat tripping children out of my way - that isn't double standards, that's Darwinian survival.)

People who spoil: we all know what the most important thing in life is, it's television. If someone is a spoiler phobe, and you're aware they don't want to know what's going to happen, for the love of all that's good and beautiful, stop talking! Hint: saying the next episode made you cry, had an unexpected twist, was disappointing...are all spoilers! What, you think the person is so dumb that can't work out what's going to happen from what you've just said? Some people take television seriously, and while obviously I'm not that kind of loony, the next person who spoils me will be killed along with everyone they have ever loved or known. You are the worst person to have walked the earth. How dare you.

People who review 'Girls': so there's a new programme that's come out where the four main characters are all females and it's written from a female viewpoi...and yeah, I'll stop there because the only talking point about this programme has been about what the actresses look like. The treatment of this programme by the media at large has been gross and disturbing. A programme that was supposedly about what women have to say got turned by reviewers into a programme about what women look like, because that's all that matters.

People who think women can't be funny:  your mother! What? I don't know. I couldn't come up with a come back. While I'm at it, can we give the rape jokes a rest? It's mostly male comedians, who belong to the group most likely to commit rape and not be directly affected by it, making fun out of rape victims, who are most likely women. That's not edgy, that's just reaffirming the status quo.

People who use the term 'politically correct': it's a classic douchebag move to try and shut down an arguement. Who needs to think when you have a meaningless phrase, amiright? People asking for respect, dignity and self-determination?! Politically correct assholes.

People who think their religion should be legislated for: do you think being gay is an abomination against god and abortion kills babies because cells have souls? Don't have sex with someone of the same gender and don't nip off to an abortion clinic (one may not lead to the other). But when you try to legislate your religious beliefs for wider society, that's a step too far, ie. I don't hate your stupidity, whether you were born stupid or you choose to be stupid, but I hate it when you try to force your stupidity on to others. Keep your stupidity in the bedroom where we don't have to see it.

Kittens: I wanna punch their screwed up tiny purry big-eyed cutesy faces. Pow, right in the whiskers.

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