Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Cunliffe: A Decision to Swallow

DAVID CUNLIFFE’S DECISION to ask his campaign manager, Jennie Michie, to stand down would’ve been both easy and hard. Easy, because if he hadn’t Grant Robertston would have snuck into their bedrooms and killed them both as they slept. Hard, because Michie is innocent, and like Jesus, was executed for the sins of others. 

Another reason was that as Cunliffe sat in his bunker, he cunningly awaited the inevitable betrayal. That a Robertsonite would yell ‘Homophobe!’. A sacrifice had to be prepared. This is because Cunliffe remembered a time when a young Grant Roberston prowled the student corridors of power, waiting to unleash such a cruel slur to unseat his opponents. 

1992 was the year, and Cunliffe remembered it well. Remembered and waited. A homophobic poster had been found during a student election that Robertston was a candidate in. People were bemused. Why would a gay person bring attention to homophobia and be upset by it? Nobody that day had seen the poster, and I know, I interviewed them all. People scratched their head and walked into poles. Things were taking a strange turn.

It was almost as if I was implying that Robertson had made the poster himself. The poster is no more. Some people say it was to destroy any fingerprint or dna evidence to tie the poster to Robertson. But who am I to say what some people might rightfully conclude.

Being a victim of homophobia was an inspired move! Having no policies meant he was reliant on the huge gay sympathy vote that was readily available in the early 90’s in NZ and Roberston won. Postergate had been a success.

Then Clare Curran tweeted, the modern equivalent of posters everywhere: Those with long memories couldn’t help hearing echoes of Robertson’s 1992 campaign that they remembered so vividly in their stark barren lives, and in Clare Curran’s tweet of Monday, 9 September. 

“The ‘NZ’s not ready for a gay PM’ is prob the biggest dog whistle I’ve ever heard. Extraordinary that it’s also coming from within the Party.”

Once again it was implied that homophobia was bad and people probably shouldn’t do it. People were once more bemused. There was a supposed outbreak of homophobia which was evidenced by specific examples that were given, but that’s not here or supposed there. Later on a union member in a private Facebook page went on to say that homophobia sucks.

This is an extraordinary statement. In essence she was suggesting that someone’s sexuality shouldn’t be an issue, like race, or religion, or hair colour, taking away our right to make homophobic comments, because Facebook comments suggesting things are law. People felt abused and and rocked back and forwards.

But, it also explains why Michie died for our sins.

Michie was asked by Rachel Smalley, from TV3’s current affairs show, The Nation:

“Okay, Grant Robertson, Jennie, says that he wants to be judged on his ability, not his sexuality. How do you think the socially conservatives might view Grant Robertson you know in the year 2013?”
To which Michie replied: 

“Well Rachel, I suppose you’d have to ask a social conservative. *polite laugh* We’re trying to run a clean campaign and I think addressing what I believe to be should be a non-issue is not in keeping with that.”

Just kidding:

“I think it’s not as big a deal as it used to be. You know we now have gay marriage, and it actually went through without that much of a fuss, and the sky hasn’t fallen. Having said that, I think we’d be naïve to imagine that there would be no resistance to a gay Prime Minister at this point. I think some people might have a problem with it, but I certainly wouldn’t.”

People were bemused. Obviously being gay is an issue and a problem, because being gay is wrong, so we should have the right to voice this without people getting all uppity as if they were human beings with equal standing.

This is why Cunliffe shook his head, clearing it of always present thoughts of early 90’s student posters, and climbed from his bunker, killing Michie so all of us might have the freedom to vote for Camp Cunliffe.

In many respects Cunliffe’s predicament is akin to that of progressive Americans living in the USA during the McCarthyite “Red Scare”. Our jail cells now bulge with the accused poster makers who live amongst us. People deported, families torn asunder, witches burnt and detainee camps now loom across the nation, all because of brave people who dare to suggest that being gay is ick.

Original Batshit Crazy Post here:

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