Official Ministerial Letterhead of Nick Smith, Minister for ACC
Dear Plebs at ACC
Look, see, Bronwyn Pullar's a mate of mine that I've known for decades from the National Party. You could say that she's a Friend of Ours. You've seen The Sopranos, right? Great show.
Obviously it would be inappropriate to comment on my friend's claim with the ACC given that I'm the Minister for ACC and essentially your boss. I mentioned that she'd been my friend, along with her family, for decades, right? Commenting as Nick Smith, Minister for the ACC, on ministerial letterhead, is completely appropriate however and that she's my friend is by-the-way, that I just thought I should mention. Did I also mention that I'm friends with her family? I just wanted to make sure of that. Nice people the Pullers. Ties to the National Party.
I'm no doctor, and I don't know anything about her case, but she's dynamic and capable. Surely that's got to count for something. To the best of my knowledge, taking into account that I haven't assessed her, or again know anything about the case, she seemed in good health when she worked for me as a family friend. I certainly can't recall her sneezing.
If you ever require me as Minister of ACC to assist you in your decision making of cases that involve my friends, please do not hesitate to contact me in future. Or I'll contact you, whatever.
Bronwyn Puller's Family Friend, Nick Smith
Minister for ACC and Your Boss
ps. The actual letter that manages to be worse than the parody: http://static.stuff.co.nz/files/nicksmith.pdf