Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Return of Colin Craig

Please note: this is satire and for amusement purposes only. Colin Craig did not say this, and the link to the original post is below. I point this out for the incredibly thick since Mr Craig has started threatening legal action on people because he apparently, and I think a reasonable person might assume this, wants to silence his critics by using his money as a weapon.

Wake Up Mr Key

Press Release
10 May 2012

Wake Up Mr Key
In response to Mr Keys claims that Mr Craig was making up claims about promiscuity, Mr Craig responds as follows:

"My claim that New Zealand women are whores was true and I have evidence to back this up in the form of a paid internet poll that has produced such scientific evidence as a "World's Best Lover" list published in such peer reviewed journals as the Daily Mail. Shocking stuff.
Also, the International Sexuality Description Project which out of 14,059 people surveyed sampled 152 New Zealand women who self-reported about attitudes to sex.  Damning stuff. I haven't read it, but it's sure to be prove my point. One hundred scientists cooperated on this. That's some solid evidence, right there.
More importantly, I have talked to frontline health workers, doctors, and Gynaecologists. I say "Hey, tell me about the sex lives of women. This is for science. Now tell it to me slower and into this tape recorder so I can play it back at a later date. For science".
These people I've talked with: none of them told me I was wrong. Therefore, scientifically, I must be right. Furthermore, and brace yourself for this, I haven't read anything that counters my preconceived notions about the sluttiness (so slutty!) of New Zealand women. Bam! You weren't expect that. There it is. Facts.
But it isn't just New Zealand women who are whores, so ladies, stop your whinning that I'm being sexist. New Zealand men are also dirty, filthy sinners. And these dirty slutty women are doing dirty slutty things with these men. Or possibly with each other. I know right-thinking New Zealanders can't get these disturbing notions out of their heads.
I'm young and hip and know what the young people are up to. And it's having premarital sex without the sole purpose of procreation. They're doing it for enjoyment. Disgusting.
As politicians it's our job to stop this. But also to be aware of this. I may have to do more research and ask more gynacologists about womens sex lives."

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